Friday, January 25, 2019

Next Time I Say I Need An Emotional Support Ukrainian/Russian Mail Order Bride From The Old Country For My Depression You People Need To Stop Judging Me

Man says emotional support alligator helps his depression.

Next he will be claiming he has the right to take this monster onto planes because he is too nervous to fly. He also takes the alligator with him when he goes to visit day care centers because toddlers scare the hell out of him and a big scary creature that will eat a toddler significantly reduces his anxiety.

And I know what happens if they let this lizard on the plane. One minute this Biebergator is up and interacting with the passengers by cheering everyone up in coach with a creative song and dance routine and the next a whole box of kittens goes missing from the cargo hold. And does he get his own parachute if he has to bail out of the plane or can he and his owner share a parachute?

But I also have to be honest. If I am sleeping and I wake to this amphibian brushing against my leg I will FREAK OUT and he's going OUT a window or the emergency door along with anyone not buckled into their seat.

It's called explosive decompression. I will try to give the rest of the passengers warning if I have the time.but I am not promising anything. I don't do well in these kind of alligator based situations.


Debra She Who Seeks said...

The emotional support alligator helps his depression because he laughs when it eats small toddlers.

Cal's Canadian Cave of Coolness said...

I shouldn't judge him harshy then. I laugh the same way when I see them saunter into some day care center.