Saturday, August 27, 2011

Futuristic Inventions We Should Have Now - Number One

It’s about time we had jetpacks. This has been the outcry of every futurist since we realized they looked so awesome. There’s even a band called “We Were Promised Jetpacks.” The military hasn’t seemed to be able to find a good use for them, beyond a fuel-wasting novelty, and they aren’t used to catch fugitives, à la the Thought Police in Minority Report. They would snip the ribbon on individual restriction, allowing single men to fly around the skies, and national monuments like some kind of superhero. The feeling would equate to something like the rush a motorcyclist feels on the open road; now allow that same cyclist a third dimension of liberty and uncontainable joy will flood the Earth as if there was some kind of sequel to sexual intercourse: a new pleasure dropped from the heavens just to see how we’d be able to handle it (the answer: like a screaming schoolgirl).

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