Wednesday, August 24, 2011

I Need Some Advice


I have been contemplating giving into my mother's suggestion to trim my mighty beard. But I don't want to do it myself because I always mess up the shaping of the remaining hair so I will be starting my next mighty growth under a disadvantage.

I would love to find a old timey barber in my town that does a close shave with a hot towel, hot foam and a sharp straight razor but a joy like that is a thing of the past I assume. There is a salon at the mall that does good beard trimming so that will probably where I end up.

Seems to be a hassle because I know that I cannot stick to a daily shaving schedule. I have no one pretty to shave for and in fact, I often get handed loose change on the street by people who think I am homeless. That is pure profit for me.

If someone gives me the 'stink eye' for taking too many FREE sample at 'Costo', the wild beard always helped me play the 'crazy, loud, indignant, entitled customer to it's full effect. (I have an issue with limits put on FREE samples by angry people who hate their lives and think THEY are paying for the food they are cooking up for us shoppers.)

So what do you think? Shave or not? I may let the majority win this one or I might just go with what the first girl from the Ukraine, who is willing to become my mail order bride, thinks.

So vote now and vote often (especially Ekatarina from Kiev) She was my first Russian bride but someone messed up the postage and address on the crate and she was shipped to Madagascar instead of Canada. And with an incorrect tracking number it quickly became impossible for me to find her. I can't even watch that cartoon movie, 'Madagascar' because I am afraid I will see her in the background crowd shots and it will break my heart again. She was the best fake imaginary foreign girlfriend/bride that I ever had.



NEXT we will talk about coloring because I am sick or my beard not being one uniform color. Any 'Just For Men' shade you like? Apparently you just comb it in. I might leave some of the grey for character. Plus it drives the ladies at the nursing home wild.

16 comments:

Sam G said...

Man, That's tough. Sometimes I'll shave just for something different, but I'm also really lazy and hate to shave everyday. I vote for a good trim.

Anonymous said...

Grow a wizard beard!

Kal said...

But won't I look goofy in that big hat that they all like to wear?

Paladin said...

I threw away my razor way back in 1983, when I went away to college. My Mother hated my whiskers. Made sideways comments about it every time I would make the trip home to visit for the first two years of school.

One summer, I came home to work and earn money to live off during the next school year. Job of opportunity that year was manual labor in a lumber yard. I shaved off the beard both to keep cool and to make Mom happy.

She took one look at me and said, "Gee.. I kinda miss the beard."

I grew it back the following Fall and I've had it ever since. Moral of the story is do what you like with your own face... the nice thing about facial hair is that it grows back if you change your mind :)

As for the grey - I've earned every grey hair in my now mostly white beard. I'll not color it even if it means it makes me look older.

Drake said...

Without your beard, how would we know you?! It says "CANADA" your beard!
"Oh Canada...Cal must keep his beard..."

DEZMOND said...

be a man and shave it all! :P

Debra She Who Seeks said...

I vote for a really good trim so it's very short. And maybe go back to the goatee look. Makes you look devilish.

M. D. Jackson said...

At the beginning of summer I shaved off my whiskers. My wife likes the "cleaner" look and now it's kind of grown on me.

I'm not advocating a complete shave to the skin, but neat and trim is usually a bigger hit with the ladies than wild and unmanaged (unless your lady routinely rides on the back of your Harley, and even then she probably secretly wishes you'd trim it neat once in a while)

So, yes, do get a trim.

TS Hendrik said...

If you keep the beard, you should dye it bright red and play it like you're a German Robin Hood. However I'd also like to see you cut it so that it looks old timey. Like when they'd have a beard that was essentially a mustache that connected to the side brows.

Belle said...

I think you should trim it fairly close or have the goatee. My husband uses Just for Men and I like the medium brown best. He likes the light brown.
Sorry to hear about the mail-order bride. She was certainly beautiful! I do believe though that a wonderful woman will come into your life one day.

D.I. Felipe González said...

Either goatee look or clean shave, that´s the vote from the subtropical regions of México. Never dye your beard, it would look fake.

Sarah said...

I like the slightly scruffy look--gives you an air of ruffian yet sophistication.

I wouldn't dye it either--it gives character! It seems a lot of guys have very differently colored beards and I think it distinguishes you.

Kal said...

Thanks for that sincere advice everyone. And don't worry Belle, next time I won't leave such an important package in the hands of CANADA POST.

csmith2884 said...

Danielle has a lot of pro-beard posts, how is that not enough to convince you the beard must stay. BTW I have used beard dye since I was 30 For me the dark brown is a spot on match. I go about 2 months between uses.

Kal said...

That is funny you say that about Danielle, I acutally messaged her about some beard post and she was so nice and sweet to me in her reply that we became friends. You are right - for her I can't abandon my signature 'look'. I will trim it down tomorrow and start on a new more EPIC beard with the perfect coloring. I am going all steampunk with white highlights. I like TS' idea of the mustache/sidburn thing. I think I will be searching late 1800 photographs all day.

Megan said...

In my hometown there was a barbershop across from my dad's high school where his father and all his brothers all went (we're talking since the early forties, here). Gabe was the barber's name. Both my brothers got their haircuts at Gabe's, too, until there was no more Gabe around to go to. I was allowed inside with my dad during my early years but once I passed a point (nobody had to tell me, I knew when it happened) I didn't go inside any more.

Damn, I haven't thought about Gabe's in years. And now I can see the whole place. I'm like, seven right now, sitting in the empty chair and trying to pretend I understand The Sporting News.

(P.S. - I can't picture you without the beard. It would be interesting to see you without it, but you do whatever feels comfy.)