Thursday, August 25, 2011

What Is With All The Religious Jerks This Week?

It ain’t those parts of the Bible that I can’t understand that bother me, it is the parts that I do understand. ~ Mark Twain

First of all some Muslim guy has placed a FATWAS (death sentence) on David Letterman which has given the comedian some of his best material all year.

The Jihadists (who are totally separate from the 95% of Muslims who are decent caring human beings) are mad at some joke he made that their express. So like every other time, this little, unhappy, insulted group they did what they always do and went back to the Middle Ages for a solution to their grievance - silencing the infidel by killing him and cutting out his tongue.

Time to stop taking yourselves so seriously guys. A sense of humor would help your culture immensely and maybe you wouldn't be so angry all the time.

I have had my run-ins with religious bigots too this week. Two lovely Mormon breeders have decided to stop following my blog because I made a joke about Mittens Romney and his 'magic underwear'.

I did not come up with the idea that Mormons wear underwear with 'magical' properties - it has been a part of their goofy belief system for a long time. Yes, I called your religion GOOFY because it is. Tell me the story of Joseph Smith and the mysterious gold tablets and try to keep a straight face.

Now before all the Mormon that follow me stampede to the exit let me leave you with this thought...I DON'T CARE if you go because anyone that thin-skinned is beneath my attention. Your religion may bring you great comfort and joy in your life and it's tough to not say anything when someone challenges your cherished faith. I just wish you all weren't so defensive all the time. I can only imagine what you all think of the Broadway hit - 'Book of Mormon'.

'Magical underwear' is funny. The fact that you can't see that makes you part of the joke and for that you have my pity.


Belle said...

I missed the blog with the joke somehow. Been real busy lately. I think religious people need to be able to take a joke about their religions. I was raised in a Seventh-Day-Adventist home. This was my dad's favorite joke about us.

Why don't Seventh Day Adventists make love standing up?
Because it might lead to dancing.

(They think it is a sin to dance) :)

Kal said...

OMG. My best friend grew up in the same kind of household like you. It really messed her up not being able to celebrate birthdays or holidays. She took a lot of flack from her fellow church members for hanging out with a wild bearded infidel with his own opinions about things because I encouraged her to confrot those who had abused her as a child - a common occurance in alot of those religious groups that isolate themselves from the rest of society. I have always had a problem with goofy religious beliefs and maybe I should be more tolerant and accepting. I just never understood why I should have to tippy toe around the subject of religion. I was raised Catholic and have just as many, if not more, issues with that faith than any other.

Now your father would have been someone who I could work with because he seemed to understand the difference between a joke and being truely meanspirited.

Hobgoblin238 said...

ALL religions are high control groups. I was one of Jehovah´s Witnesses for 16 years so I know what I am talking about. They seem innocent enough but they are not. All of these religions are cults. If there wasn´t religions in the world it would be a better place. THANK YOU CAL for telling it like it is! This is Monster Cafe Saltillo saying thank you!

Kal said...

Thanks for you kind words Hobgoblin. You remind me that I never need to censor myself or just 'go along' without calling these groups on their bullshit.

Drake said...

I think all religions and non religions need MAGIC UNDERWEAR!

Mine will let me fly like SUPERMAN!

Debra She Who Seeks said...

Three points:

1. Yeah, sign me up for magic underwear too. Who wouldn't want it?

2. I don't think those are real Mormons in the photo. They would not wear such loud ties.

3. I used to work with a nice young Mormon guy. I used to freak him out by saying what Alberta really needs is a good NDP government. Hee hee! He took it sooooo seriously.

Kal said...

I refused to have my underwear choices made for me by some religious authority. It really is none of their business if I chose to go 'commando' or wear the fur loin cloth.

Belle said...

My father did abuse me. He was religious on the outside but an adulterer and molester on the inside. He went to church, tithed, taught children at church, all the while doing terrible things.

Most Seventh-Day-Adventists do celebrate Christmas and birthdays. The Sabbath-breaking rules are numerous though. I still believe in many of their teachings, but I don't consider myself to be one. I love God and know he loves me. That is all I need.

Kal said...

I am so angry that you experienced that as a child. I have heard so many similar stories from other girls who were raised in these religious cultures that abused them instead of protecting them. It's such a irredeemable evil think to do to an innocent.

Belle said...

Remember when I told you something terrible happened to me when I was in my forties? It was that the memories came back about what my father did to me. I had a nervous breakdown, my mother left my father after 48 years of marriage. I got angry at God and didn't speak to him for five years. I felt lied to, cheated of my life. I always knew there was something wrong with me, but I didn't know what.

I worked it all out through years of therapy and I am finally rid of the horrible dreams and feelings. I am back with God and I am happy I am alive for the first time in my life.

Belle said...

Sorry, I got carried away, Kal. :)

TotusMel said...

As an ex-Mormon...(I know weird right?) The magic underwear is much sillier looking than it sounds too. And thanks to a butt flap in the mens, I have seen more of my father than a child should ever have to.

I got better by the way.

Sarah said...

It must be going around. Some kind of end-of-summer frantic-ness on their part?

I don't care what you believe as long as it's not inhibiting others' right to happiness and isn't directly harming anyone.

But for people to spout a faith that has all these rules about how to be "good" and then to be hypocritical and break them in the worst possible way, as with Belle, makes me angry enough to bash heads.