Monday, June 30, 2014

A Classic Cal Rant From The Archive Of Cool

This show is so stupid. The book was stupid because it basically took most everything that is great about being a guy (farting, wearing Hawaiian shirts, liking sammiches) and turned it into an indictment of our total species.

On VH1 they only give the top 100. The freakin' book has 311 of them. GAH!

If you think I am choosing you over the cat you have lost your damn mind.

Yeh I know that women choose but you would think they didn't need to be so picky. We can't all be George Clooney. I know I haven't got much to offer but I work on my act daily, can make you laugh, know how to vacuum and prepare a nice meal. That isn't enough?

What the hell happened to picking me at my most pathetic and changing me into someone you could proudly take out in polite society. I thought you needed a project and I was it!!

Why not 100 things that makes a woman a bitch? Like buying this book and holding it against me. You with your fingerless gloves and hair extensions and total obsession with yourself. Your flip flops bother me too because I don't need to see those long ass toes of yours with webbing between.

And I am not shaving off my beard. It's beautiful. In the Taliban I would be their king just because of my awesome facial hair. Sure it gets me searched in airports but the biker chicks love it. LOVE IT!



Hobgoblin238 said...

If ya wanna date ya gotta change a little. I told you about the senoritas down here.

joe ackerman said...

testify, my man! if I brought out a book that detailed all the things that are wrong with women I would be, rightly, slapped ( &, trust me, I can think of more than 311. . . ). but, it's ok, because it's men, & they don't matter, do they? ass-hat double-standard joyless haridans peddling gender discrimatory trash for the entitled Lady MeMeMe! generation.

fek 'em all, son. beards rock.

david_b said...

Sooo, how many of the 311 things have you racked up, Kal...?

Mike D. said...

No man shall be forced to shave his face locks!!!!

Kal said...

I have all of those faults plus a few extra they never thought of.

Debra She Who Seeks said...

"If you think I am choosing you over the cat you have lost your damn mind." Right on, bro!