Monday, June 30, 2014

Just Let Me Rant For One Second

I see you there UNDER THE DOME. I see you looking at me. Trying to seduce me into watching your second season. But last summer I gave your little 13 part mystery in a small town show a watch. I gave it one hell of a watch because I believed there would be some kind of sweet payoff at the end. Something with a little awe and wonder. Like the awe and wonder of a cow being sliced in half by a clear dome that falls over a small town.

But once again I was tricked by my bitch mistress, television, and I was left hanging, unsatisfied and angry. And this wasn't just the kind of angry I am at most things in life that disappoint me. This hate was visceral.

I have been burned many times and it's my own damn fault for choosing dumb shows to like (The Cape and Enlisted were fabulous). This time however I say NO. I didn't even watch the review episode they did last week to prepare all us dummies for this week. I passed on that more out of embarrassment for how I got stringed along by a cool concept but the weakest of storytelling.

I bought everything they were trying to sell me, ESPECIALLY the mystery of WHY the freakin' dome encased this ONE town in the first place. That's all I wanted answered. But then the show became a hit and everyone who was committed to just ONE season saw the money and tried to stretch the premise to it's breaking point. That means NO ONE could know any answers and to me, that felt like the LOST experience all over again. So I will not watch. Don't tell me what I am missing because if you are smart, you already know you are missing something yourself by watching UNDER THE DOME and will join me in my boycott. It's the only way those stupid networks will learn not to fuck with me.

Now 24 is an entirely different conversation. Jack Bauer knows how to heal what's ailing me.



joe ackerman said...

couldn't agree with you more, mate. I watched the whole effing season, hoping for, at least, ONE answer to a whole shedload of questions, but, of course, fat chance! I am getting so sick of the whole long-form story-telling thing.

it's not the greatest series ever, but one of the reasons that I enjoyed the first couple of seasons of American Horror Story was because they were done-in-one stories that had beginnings, middles, & ends.

I'll be joining you in the boycott, Cal. it was an interesting premise that kept me fairly hooked for a season, but if they think I've got enough interest in it to rinse out another three or four seasons without giving me anything to get my teeth into they've sadly mis-read this viewer.

damn them all to tv hell!!!

Drake said...

I saw the first couple of minutes of the show (I was avoiding the local news usual local murder frenzy) and saw some guy about to be lynched and then a lady cop getting squished by a truck...meh.
I won't be watching this show again.

Mike D. said...

I was pissed last year too Kal... but last nights episode was pretty solid. Although it did have some campy "Stephen King Movie" moments, which I found funny... The completest in me wont let me stop watching

Kal said...

Mike D you are a better man than I am. And they already squished the Lady Cop?? I liked her. Oh I would have been doubly pissed if I had watched that. I now am more determined than ever to not watch. But I HAVE TO KNOW...DID SHE LIVE??

Debra She Who Seeks said...

Stay strong, Cal. I never started watching it in the first place.