Once Again, Some Young Icarus In Some Lonely Pizzaria Flies To Close To The Sun

First you maniacs put pineapple on a pizza. I allowed that to continue but it INFURIATES me in the worst way. I thought you were done with these stupid experiments but apparently, without my permission or even consultation, some brash young upstart has tossed pickle slices onto a pizza. Those look like the bread and butter variety. This is an abomination that only disgraces what we all know as PIZZA Now you are trying to slip this past me, thinking I wouldn't notice?? Well I did notice and once again I must put down the creature that YOU INVENTED. However, due to my strong feelings on the subject, I will fix this problem for free.

"The line must be drawn HERE! THIS FAR! NO FURTHER!!"

You are free to use your pickle in any way you see fit because it's YOUR pickle but please, for the love of all that is sacred, please don't call this mistake a PIZZA because it is not. Call it Flatbread For Mental Patients for all I care but you cannot use the name PIZZA because that will trick someone close to you into eating this. I refuse to have their PROFOUND disappointment with the taste of this 'product' on my soul. So I speak out. I pretty much let your primates do what you like and I don't ask for anything but kindness in return. Well, Bubba, I'm callin my marker due. I don't care how you do it. Just let this one die. Walk away. As the Lord Humungous famously said, "Walk away and I will spare your lives."