Sunday, March 28, 2010

The Happiest MeMe In The World

1. How far away is the last person you kissed?

I don't know. She is under witness protection.

2. Has someone ever told you they would be with you forever?

Yes, after I asked her to marry me then three days later she gave me the ring back and told me that she couldn't do it and I have not seen her since 1991

3. Last person you were in a car with?

My mother. I drove her to church but did not go in.

4. Any plans for tomorrow?

More bad moods for the bad dream I will have tonight - why should any other night this week be any different?

5. How long does it take for you to take a shower?

15 minutes. I am not an animal. I know that it's important to be clean.

6. Best friend or close friends?

They have all abandoned me and believe it, I was never so evil or terrible to warrant that. They just thought I was beneath them because of how I looked.

7. Is tomorrow going to be a good day?

Tomorrow I take a gun and some flaming monkeys to the top a a water tower - then I shoot till I am no longer mad and then it's media interview time.

8. Did you kiss anyone Friday?

What do you think. No woman would ever kiss me.

9. Ever thrown up in public?

Sure, at the fair and when I get sunstroke so tomorrow is big sun hat and ice chest day.

10. What's on your mind RIGHT NOW?

Releasing my rage in slow, effective bursts that do the most damage.

11. Who was the last person you talked to?

No one.

12. What is the WORST subject they teach at school?

Lifestyle or Religion so that we can be properly indoctrinated.

13. Have you seen anyone lately that you don't get along with?

I don't get along really with anyone.

14. What is your favourite colour top to wear?

Crimson or Goldenrod (like Charlie Brown)

15. Have you ever been in a car accident?

Yes...some punk smashed into the side of my car at the mall then drove away but chased him and did damage to his car until he stopped. Then I held him for the police because he fled the scene of an accident/

16. What's the closest thing to you that's green?

My envy - my sweet delicious envy.

17. Where would you like to be right now?


18. Write down some lyrics to the song you're listening to?

"The clock is another demon, that devours our time in Eden."

19. How many dogs do you have?

Don't do dogs. They are suck-ups and way too needy. They give up their love far too easily and willingly so their affection can't be trusted. They gossip.

20. Is anything bugging you right now?

Bugs. Bugs bug me.

21. Is life going right for you now?

No I am grumpy. Can't you tell?

22. Is there someone you care about more than yourself?

The cat

23. What made you laugh today?

The cat

24. What was the last movie you watched?


25. Whats the last conversation you had about?

I muttered to myself.

26. What were you doing at 7:00 this morning?

Listening to the Stephanie Miller show on radio.

27. Do you like your hair long or short?

I have no hair - shaved bald

28. Do you want to see somebody right now?


29. Do you like the rain?

I love to sleep in tent during the rain

30. Did you have a valentine this year?

Nope, just like every year.

31. The last person you kissed needs you at 3 am, would you go?

No, even if I could find her. No

32. Would you honestly say you'd risk your life for someone else?

To die a hero, sure. I always got that to look forward too.

33. Honestly, if you could go back 1 month and change something would you?

I would have had a drink.

34. How do you feel about boys smoking?

They get all the dates in Junior High...ooooo look at me. I can inhale.

35. Could you see yourself with someone forever?

Never is also an eternity like forever.


vancouver mark said...

Remember, trained telephone counselors are standing by.
remember, the love of your life may be standing by, wondering what the f is keeping you.
remember, God is definitely standing by, ready to give you a hand up even as He lets go of all the snide comments you've previously said about Him.

Chin up old boy, the best is still coming.

Chase March said...

Hi Calvin,

Thanks for posting this. I got inspired and tried it on my blog too.