Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Did I Say It Or Did I Say It

Burlesque has a 34% rating on 'Rotten Tomatoes'. Color me surprised. I hear we have the makings of another 'Showgirls/Glitter' on our hands just like I had hoped.

Sorry Christina - even with the lowest possible expectations you still showed the world what talent you had and it wasn't very much at all. If only there was a word, a German word for what I am feeling right now - a word that describes the joy I am taking from your failure, Christina.

I am sorry that you had to drag poor Kristen Bell down to the gutter with you because HER, I find appealing.

Here are what some of the critics are saying. Of course I only picked the juiciest barbs to accentuate my point:

"The movie is an affront to all things screenwriting; a package of empty envelopes at the cliche factory that actually should have every cliche filing a class action lawsuit to stop the film from using their likeness."

"It's epically contrived and, like some kind of gay Avatar, completely weightless underneath all the surface sheen."

"For what it's worth, it's probably the best 2-star movie of 2010 -- and if that's a prime example of damning with faint praise, it's nevertheless the best I can muster."

"You know how movie stars lie and say they never see their own films? The hilariously bad Burlesque would be a great opportunity to actually follow through on that."


Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Doesn't surprise me.
And hey, it's still doing better than Skyline!

Kal said...

Which is a sin for 'Skyline'. Calling 'Burlesque' a piece of crap was easy just from the trailer. But 'Skyline' promised more and didn't deliver to genre fans. I take no joy in the failure of 'Skyline' but I am so loving the bad reviews for 'Burlesque'. Is it too much to hope that Christina is so hurt by the comments that she has a 'Glitter' style meltdown? I did wish that upon a star but now that I told you it won't come true.

TS Hendrik said...

But there is a German word for that. Oh wait, you're being clever aren't you?

Wait, just thought of something, Clever Kal, Cal-Kal, CK... Clark Kent! Plus the whole German Nietzsche Superman thing... You're Superman aren't you?

Kal said...

I WAS Superman but the kryptonite I carried in my jumper stole my powers. I really don't like to talk about it.

Laura said...

My sister in law and I are going to see this tonight.
Purely for comedic reasons. We haven't seen a good "comedy" in awhile. ;p


Baby Sister said...

Doesn't surprise me. The first rating is my favorite.

csmith2884 said...

"a package of empty envelopes at the cliche factory"

Who wrote that? I will start reading his/her reviews.

Laura said...

It was even worse than I had hoped.... Muwhahahahahahaha!


Kal said...

Sunshine - you made my day and maybe my week.