Saturday, November 27, 2010

Things I Hate

A few days ago I listed a number of things I am thankful for in my life. It's only fair that I supplement that list with this one. These are the things that I just loath.

*ANY Guinness record. I think they are all useless and generally wasteful, especially the largest food related 'anything'. I remember bonding with Robyn last year over the kid who put on (or had put on him) over 250 pairs of underwear. Did that make the world a better place? No. If anything it moved us into the top ten of 'stupidest planets ever'.

My newest stupid record - this one. Why the pan? Are they afraid that some might fall in his pocket and won't survive the wash? Why only 43? There is clearly more room left on his face? The kid with the underwear had to stop because he was losing circulation in his legs. 43 snails is okay but 44, well that is just crazy.

An 11-year-old boy got slimed on his birthday. Fin Keheler allowed 43 snails to be put on his face for 10 seconds in a gross effort to surpass the Guinness World Record of 36 set in 2007. "I don't support da teaching of reading in da schools but I DO support my boy putting dem garden slugs on his face. Dat dere is a record by gum."

Check out more stupid records here.

*Christina Aguilera - there are a lot of celebrity toadstools to dislike out there but there is only one for me that combines all the qualities of an Alabama ditch pig and that is Christina. I can list several reasons why I want to bash her in the face with a shovel but it all comes down to how much she has disappointed me over the years.

When she came up to the pros from the Disney pop tart farm team she had the looks and the strongest voice of her generation. It wasn't auto tuned like Britney Spears or Jessica Simpson, it was a miraculous instrument. She could have used it to ride all the way to the top.

Instead of relying on her talent and looks (which were already just fine) she felt that the best example to give little girls was to get implants, prance around like a slut and then complain on every second song that she wasn't being taken seriously as an artist. Fuck you.

Then when she wanted to be taken seriously, she pulled a Kanye and filled every interview she gave with entitled bitterness - like it was our fault that we didn't see her genius. "Look at me, love me but don't talk to me because you are a little person" became her mantra.

Then right on cue she has a prop baby probably because carrying around a little purse dog wasn't trendy enough.

Her new movie opens in a few weeks and from what I have heard, she has brought her same c***ish behavior to the set. That same attitude where she thinks she is better than all of us and can out sing and out act anyone on the planet. I so hope for a box office failure for 'Burlesque' that will make 'Glitter' look like 'Avatar'.


Sam G said...

I would only want to see Burlesque for Kristen Bell. Yum.

DEZMOND said...

I totally share your dislike for Aguilera.
I generally don't like mediocre pop stars who have no wits nor talents.

csmith2884 said...

TWO only two things...??? This list needs to be continued.

Kal said...

Oh it will be. I just tend to explain what I hate more than those things that I like. Those seem more self explainatory.

I agree with you Sam. Kristen Bell will be the delicious taste that takes the stink out of the room caused by Aquilera.