Friday, March 25, 2011

Age of Dragons (2011)

You know when Vinny Jones is the best actor in a picture that you are in for a rough ride. This one is basically a remake of 'Moby Dick' with the same character names and a white dragon replacing a white whale. You see, in this mythical medieval time, people hunt dragons for their 'fire' and ride around in land boats that seem to have no visible means of propulsion.

Danny Glover is 'Ahab', a man who lost his sister and was burned by the white dragon when he was a boy and has hunted the creature ever since. He is deliciously crazy trying to do his best 'Othello'. The dialogue is pseudo-Shakespeare.

Sophia Pernas plays Ahab's daughter Rachel. She is almost too pretty for this story that gives her nothing to do but be moody.

The effects are good but once again SyFy lets us down with a crappy script that takes a good idea but puts no effort into telling a compelling story. All the characters are your usual stereotypes, the pretty girl, the gruff sailor, the silent warrior, the handsome youth ect...

This one didn't even have pictures online or a poster to accompany it. All I can offer you is the trailer and my opinion. No better or worse than any ordinary creature feature on SyFy. Strictly for dragon lovers and people who, like me, are less discriminating in their taste of movies.



csmith2884 said...

Can't watch the syfy creature feature anymore the endings all suck. Like they film till money runs out then wrap up with whatever is left.

Kal said...

I am so sick of it too. They have the computer effects and actors that work cheaply. I just wish they would care about the quality of what they are putting out there. Why be less than ordinary when you could be great?

M. D. Jackson said...


Erik Johnson Illustrator said...

I like the idea of taking the concept of Moby Dick and putting it into a different setting so that we can freshen it up and use the fantasy setting to revive certain elements that would seemed dated or over tread in a straightforward adaptation.

The idea of hunting dragons for their "fire" sounds cool, and there use in stories as dangerous predators make it sound more exciting then hunting whales, but this trailer doesn't scream "Excitement"

The setting looks so small, like we're on the location of wherever they shot "Stargate SG-1" in Vancouver. We don't get any wide angle shots of the supposed "harsh terrain", let alone the sky, you know, where the dragons are flying! Theres a scene in the end of the trailer were see them slowly climbing up a tiny hill (shot from a low angle to make it look bigger) in in fact they're walking slowly because they don't have that much hill to work with an have to fudge the shots to make it look epic.

Rachel with her perfect cheekbones and shiny hair looks too good to be a huntress and her lone one facial expression renders her completely unappealing. Then we get some cleavage shots and a long look at her bare back and she actually becomes less attractive because she's clearly teasing, but hasn't given me a reason to care at all.

Then theres Vinnie Jones, with his patchy beard to let us know that he's a tough, experienced outdoorsman who has braved the arctic chill. Oh please! My beard is thicker than that and its much warmer were I am than were he is supposed to be.

This also makes be wonder why dragons, cold blooded reptiles, would be flying around in this arctic circle of a place. Maybe there internal fire flips things around, I don't know.

I can hardly be excited about the actual dragon hunt when their harpoon and rope both have the thickness and durability of a toothpick. How to you expect to injure and pull down a creature that weighs as much as a semi, with something so flimsy? You'd probably have better luck using The First Cal's spear. Come back to me when you've got a double coiled rope, or enough world building were you can't be out done my a children's movie like "How to Train Your Dragon."

Kal said...

Good review Erik. I hope you added this one to your movie review blog.

Erik Johnson Illustrator said...

Absolutely Kal. Given how much I've ranted about trailer lately, I've taken to posting those preview-reviews on my movie blog as well. In addition to Dragons and 3 Musketeers, I've also recently posted my thoughts on "Thor", "Super 8" and "The Smurfs".

Kal said...

I so hope you find this Smurf movie as much as 'Yogi Bear' size debacle as I do. I mean who is the target audience for this film. It's not kid because they have never heard of these blue freaks. It's no people my age who remember who they are because we didn't like them at all back then and were constanly amazed that that idiot Gargomele and his cat couldn't take the Smurf and their stupid village out in an afternoon.

Gargomel should join C.O.B.R.A. - he would fit right in with that group of fuck-ups perfectly.

It's just a movie that has no reason to be made. I swear if I see one more clip where they use the word SMURF as an adjected,advert,verb or noun I will kill myself.