Wednesday, December 29, 2010

The Olsen Twins

I am sorry to say this to all the people who love these two but I want to hit them both in the head with a shovel. That is how little I enjoy seeing them. They are creepy. Like Robert Shaw said about sharks in 'Jaws' - "You know a thing about a shark? He's got eyes, lifeless eyes, dead eyes, black eyes, like a doll's eyes.". Well, that is the look these two have perfected.

I have rarely seen a picture where they are smiling. It's like they were made in a lab and not the good 'Dolly the sheep kind of lab' but something left over from Nazi experiments and they escaped their creators. See already I have made them more interesting. Even the two of them, working together, can't make one human person.

How could you look at basically YOURSELF all day long?

And the picture above - tell me if I got this right. One is STREET (she talks tough, loves rap music and has no time for authority) and the other isn't (she follows the rules and never steps out of line or express an opinion for fear that it will upset somebody - but they will find some way to compromise and meet in the middle to solve all their problems one magical day. OMG that is lame. Or do they switch places? That is original.

How have they never made a major Hollywood movie. Sure they made all that twin crap when they were little and we know they are a media empire with lots of cash. Why not make something interesting instead of doing nothing but show up to red carpet 'events'. Nice that you use your fame to actually do some good in this world.

I have had a great idea in my head for the movie I would make if I were them

Why not have one twin just KILL the other twin because she wants her life. THAT is a movie I would watch because I would know that when one Olsen died, the other would soon follow. It's like old men who have their long term spouses die after a long marriage. They don't usually last the year.

I have a great twist ending idea for this one but you don't get to hear it because then they will hear it and make my movie idea. They don't deserve to be in a movie this great. I would rather CGI two Yogi Bears for the leads than see them get any praise at all.

I just want to shake them while screaming something about their eyes following me no matter where I am in the room.

My god Kal, tell me what you really think.


Andrew said...

Twins, in general, are creepy....
The Olsens take the creepiness to a disturbing level. said...

I couldn't agree more. These once cute kids (most kids are) grew into freaks who somehow weigh less than they did as toddlers. xo