Wednesday, May 25, 2011

My Last Negative Rant Until At Least August. I Promise. I Have Obviously Morphed Into This Horse

Brown is totally the color to go with Kyna. All kinds of food causes Gout. For me it wasn't shell fish but all the deli meat I carried around I my jumper for those snake emergencies. Those were all some shade of brown. But it wasn't too bad for me. One week between boo boo and happy toe. Anti-inflamatories and I was fine.

But I attribute that to cutting out massive amounts of sugar and salt and perservatives from my diet after getting the scary type 2 diabetes diagnosi a couple of months earlier and some medication to regulate my glucose levels. Who knew?

I also don't enjoy the way my doctor makes me guess what I think is wrong with me before he nods in agreement. Who did all the studying for medical school? Me or him? Why don't I have his sweet parking space? What the do I need him for but to push me pharmaseudicals? I swear if I had a perscription pad I would be free from his insane South African ideas that suffering from something that deprives you of what you like to eat is a good thing. His signature is also just a slightly curvy line. Any two year old could fake it. If I remember he went on some crazy rant about how everyone in North America eats too many TOMATOES. What the hell is with all the tomatoes is all he could say over and over again. I answered him that people like tomatoes and he became indignant with me and said "No they don't!"

Clearly at that point I have nothing productive to add to the conversation. But I do enjoy the fact that he is young and dynamic and will live for 200 yrs. I take great joy in the fact that he will be miserable because people won't agree with him about the tomatoes and would gladly trade all those BLTs for a good 70 years of extra life on this dreary planet.

So why do I stay? It's my canned answer - his ennui is delicious to me.

He works nearly all the time so I can see him at a moments notice. All the visits and treatments are free as are the meds. Yeh I know. Fricken SOCIALISM!

I have to admit to also just ADORING how brutally efficient but equally miserable his unit of blond Aryan Super Nurses are.


Belle said...

It does seem like we have to look up our symptoms online and let the doctor know what we have.
Love the part about tomatoes. We get tons of doctors from South Africa here in Kelowna too. Who is looking after the South Africans??

Margaret Benbow said...

Hey, at least your South African doc WENT to medical school. And you're in Canada, right? Forget about getting sick in Sicily. According to everyone in all the rest of Italy, Sicilian doctors just buy their degrees. They practice on Lego dolls. Don't take your diabetes to Sicily!!!

DrGoat said...

Getting a good Dr. is a crapshoot. I got lucky and have had the same primary for 35 yrs. He's my age so we get along great and he is tuned to all the arcane references I use. My neurologist is a cowboy from Prescott AZ. I like him too. No nonsense.
Somehow I'm not surprised to hear about Sicilian Drs. My relatives live in northern Italy and have nothing good to say about most Sicilians. Of course, they're biased, but they're my family so I'll side with them.
We sure could use some of that kind of socialism down here. My insurance premiums take up about 25% of my income.

BobG said...

I've had bouts with gout for over twenty years now; go easy on red meat, spinach, and organ meat. Make sure your diet includes lots of antioxidants (I found cranberry juice keeps uric acid levels down), and drink plenty of water.
I was diagnosed with Type II back in August; it isn't as bad as Type I. With Type I you have to watch glucose levels constantly, and have to inject insulin when they get too high.

Kal said...

So Margaret, you are saying that when I get in one of those blood feuds with one of the families down the street I can't expect help from the island's medical community? Good. I don't need Vito, Vinchenzo and their sister Maria coming after me when they recover from my attempt to take them out with my original recipe Sicilian pizza bomb.

Dr G - speaking of criminal behavior. Your entire congress has colluded with your medical and insurance systems for 30 years to cheat you out of the proper health care that should be your right by birth. Those industries should never be for profit either. Cures and effective treatments for diseases should have limits on the amount of profit the companies who created them should reasonably expect back on their initial up front investvent in reasearch which can be huge. I am not gloating. I am angered that by an accident of location on this continent you get soaked for treatments and I don't. Of course we both probably made a few bad life choices but so did the food companies with their love of dangerous high fructose cornsyrup and the evil corn lobby. Boy I hit all the targets today didn't I. It's interesting to know the the Norther Inuit people had very low incidences of diabetes, heart disease and other similar diet based diseases because their diet had may have been high fat but that was an advantage in those climates.

Lazarus Lupin said...

give 'em hell!

Debra She Who Seeks said...

Gout? Pout! You're entitled. Ouch!

Kal said...

Gout Pout? That is hilarious.

Of course I am 50 percent responsible for my own choices and actions in regards to the foods I choose to eat. I am a smart guy but shouldn't I have been given much of this information when I was say..FIVE!! Put scary pictures on the chips and regular Pepsi and other stuff that is bad for me just like they do with cigarette packaging. Scare the hell out of me early in life.

I have some cool plans to see what I can do to really advance my traing regime over the next 4 - 6 monthe that is going to change my life.

Then just between you, me, the tree and my sweat tasting pee - I am going to become an 'eco food terrorist and my first target will be any brown meat in their seductive packaging that both titalates and controls me. I carrot and a fat and perservative laden hot dog may look the same but one makes such a more delicious looking and tasting public art display when exploded f4from within by replacing the yummy dogs with 12 sticks of similarly colored TNT. HEE HEE that is BIG FUN on the Bayou Tonight!

Don't even get me started on how the high fructose corn syrup in Ketchup looks and tastes just like my own sugary sweet blood.

I don't know if this is bad or good but the label on the Heinz Ketchup bottles (which Canadians eat more of per person than any other single county on this planet...a single teaspoon serving - 15 grams - has 20 calories in it and 4 grams of fat and 6 grans of of sodium. I have used that amount to coat individual chip in my time.

Funny story that I have told before. A few years ago the chip people were marketting some new flavors that they wanted to run past consumers to see if creating that new flavor would increase their bottom line because chip sales had become stagnant. In only ONE country in tbhe world did people go overwhelmingly in favor of ketchup flavored chips. Maybe that is why you can only buy them North of the border. The same goes with Pilsbury Pizza Pops (which are an awesome snack food)

Paradox Al said...

Now, in addition to your cat captions, I sorta want to see you make "emo horse" captions too!

Also, I wish you the best in your battle with diabetes. I want you to know, I'm rooting for you! =)