Legion - AKA "Oh My Sweet Lord"

"But I don't even believe in God."

"That's okay. He doesn't believe in you either."

Frankly there is nothing worse than moody angels with ennui on Christmas Eve. All that heavy religious symbolism would make me nuts also. But then again I am just Cal and not God. You would think that God would have a bit more patience with the messed up creatures HE was supposed to have created in HIS image.


So basically here is the setup. Archangel Michael has gotten some advanced knowledge that we mortals have finally worked God's last nerve so he is sending some kind of angel death squad to grease us all and kill the 'chosen' child that is suppose to be our one chance for salvation. Nice play there Lord. I am so glad I never bought into all that balloon juice he was shovelling. This may be off topic but I totally agree with what Ricky Gervais says about faith and belief.



You know you are in for a bad night in these kind of movies when the TV goes out. Why the hell does the TV reception get bad right before the shit goes down? For once I would like to see someone take a break from all that killin' and still be able to catch an episode of 'The Simpsons' before resuming the carnage.

Also, is there anything more attractive than a hot pregnant girl with a machine gun? MEOW!


Remember the lessons of this film:

God is a dick with too much time on his hands. Maybe if he solved a few of the problems he started he might be in a better mood.

Old people and young kids are bad and can turn on you in a second with those creepy 'Exorcist' voices and the ability to crawl up walls like a spider.


Despite all the stress and activity surrounding her, a pregnant actress will only start to go into labour when the script demands that she does. Any earlier would be inconvenient for everyone involved.

Angels do not have a sense of humor. Therefor there is no comedy in heaven or they would be laughing their asses off at the stupidity of the whole situation the characters in this movie find themselves in. A joke would have went a LONG way towards making everyone feel better about the shit pile they are in. The angel we get in this movie seems only interested in painting the absolute bleakest picture possible. Way to go with the HOPE there wingboy.

The young, good looking, moody guy will finally have something REAL to be bitching about and will finally get off his ass and DO SOMETHING about the messed up situation he finds himself in. Luckily he will have a fallen angel to help him when he reaches that critical junction in his life.

Sometimes when you hear the ice cream truck coming it's best NOT to go outside to meet it.

The out of the way diner where the movie takes place will be called something ironic like Paradise Falls.

That same diner will only have one type of each character type in it at any given time. One married couple, one child, one minority, one bitter old crank, one moody young guy, one pregnant girl, one smart talking bad ass, one dreamer, one Indian chief, one fallen angel ect..


Magical creatures like angels and demons can be killed with regular man-made bullets and this new invention called FIRE.

The two black characters will refer to each other as 'my brother' at least once during the film.

The worst thing is that I wrote all this before I even STARTED watching the movie. Take from that what you will. You know exactly where this one is going at all times.

I took this quote from 'Rotten Tomatoes' that says all that needs to be said...

"It's one of those movies you just want to hate, you just have to hate because deep down, you know it hates itself."