Friday, January 28, 2011

In The Interest Of Total Disclosure


I just got back from meeting with my nurse (you can see how I have slowly been surrounding myself with only the best and the brightest since I started this blog) who is named Shannon. She is fun and has style and we seem to have a very good rapport.

I always knew that sometime in my life that I would become a diabetic. My grandmother had the disease and, like premature hair loss, I knew I had no chance of ever avoiding any of the genetic problems passed down by my immigrant ancestors.

I have been getting my blood tested for diabetes for about five years now. Never did I register so high that I was diagnosed with the disease. Last December (2010) I got the news I didn't want to hear. Good that I caught it early enough to do something about it. Part of the FREE stuff I get as member of this great socialist democracy (suck on that America) I live in is that I get the use of a free lifestyle NURSE.

So today I go in and Shannon shows me how to code my glucose meter and we go and do a fun test. First of all that stupid thingie designed to take my blood doesn't puncture deep enough (even at the 11 setting) to get enough blood for the strip. So I take the safety lid off and put the lancet directly next to my finger before releasing it. Now THAT technique got me some blood

Shannon, as the good nurse she is, wondered allowed if maybe I need a new lancing device since making a 'horror show' out of each time I have to draw my blood may not be the best thing for someone who likes to type and pick his nose (which I didn't do in front of her - guess I just looked like 'a picker')

Now if any of you don't know, you want the glucose meter to register the sugar in your blood at between 8 and 10. Seeing those numbers come up are good to see. I had eaten nothing this morning and mine registered 17.2. YES! THAT HIGH! EEEEEK

To her credit, Shannon assured me that it was bad but no reason to freak out just yet. I had probably been that high for months now and I still was getting up in the morning. It was also good to have a nice high (record high) number to work at lowering. Finally, it's official. My blood IS the consistency of Root Beer.

So now it's experiment time. Take my readings six times a day, vary my diet and exercise levels and then see how it affects my glucose levels. Keep a record of all this. Hopefully I will live long enough to see a difference.

I tell you all this so that I can keep myself honest and motivated about what I need to do to change my life. Plus for you cute girls out there, it will only make me more adorable and attractive to you so that you push your sisters or friends with low self esteem my way. A man who can fix his faults is a good catch - evolutionarily speaking. I know. I saw it on da Google.

So there it is. Glad to have you with me at the beginning of this project. I will still provide much entertainment for those of you who have no interest in following me on this dark path to sugar free Mnt. Doom. I hope to take this broken down jalopy and rebuild it into a hot rod. But first I have to clean the sugar out of the gas tank.

19 comments:

D.I. Felipe González said...

You'll soon have Dr. Pepper light blood, Cal.

Pat Tillett said...

In the south (of the U.S.) they call it "the sugar." As in, "I went to the doctor today for some test and they told me I had "the sugar."
Lot's of things to do and keep track of. Hang in there buddy!

Laura said...

You're doing great Cal. I know that this is very difficult for you. :(

((Hugs))
Laura

Nick Ward said...

"Getting the sugar out of the gas tank." Great line I might have to steal it. I'll be watching to see how this story unfolds. I suspect the hero wins...

Super-Duper ToyBox said...

you are gonna Do It! i believe in you. listen, i've been sober 4 month now, after drinking daily for well over a decade, & lost an eighth of my body weight after taking to a rigorous workout regimen & watching the diet. if i can beat alcohol, you can do this. you are gonna turn into a new man. don't be discouraged. i am sending you all the good vibes i got

Paladin said...

I always feel better once the action starts, you know? No matter what the task at hand is, or how difficult it might be, sitting and waiting for it to start is *the worst*. Now that you're firmly on the road to beating this it'll get easier.

Not easy. Just easier.

And no low self esteem chicks for you, my friend. You need a woman that will sass you. I know it did wonders for me.

csmith2884 said...

You got this beat, my Canadian brother. And Pat, if you ever had "sweet tea" in the South you know why. OMG I like a bit of sugar and lemon but the spoon stands up in most of that southern stuff. But no one ever said most southern food was health food. "I'm lookin at you chicken and waffles"

Baby Sister said...

This is an adventure that I am NOT jealous of.... Good look!! You can do it, and you'll probably be happier in the long run...

Wings1295 said...

While I don't envy you this journey, I am glad you are taking it as positively as you can and doing what needs to be done. And you can do it, we all know that.

Robin said...

Your blood may be root beer, but I'm pretty sure mine's almost all chocolate :)

TS Hendrik said...

I read a few months back about a new diabetes testing device that will basically involve getting a small tattoo that you then scan. Certainly sounds a lot better than what you're having to do to get a reading.

DrGoat said...

Behind you all the way. Sounds like you got people that are going to help you find the best place to be. yours friends are right. Stuff like this never gets easy, but it does get easier to accept and just do it. Also, you do need a women to sass ya. At least some of the time. Who knows, you might even get to accepting cephalopods. Not holding my breath on that one though.

Kal said...

Go are sounding dangerously like a collaborator Dr.G.

Thanks TS. I have always wanted to get that Snake of my Face.

Belle said...

I know you will get it down. My mom did.

Kelly Sedinger said...

I worry about this in my future...and my great plans of returning to the gym and starting to work off my gut again were temporarily dashed by the Enormous Thing On My Knee. I know a couple of guys at work who have been managing their diabetes for years, and one young girl who is thin as a rail who just got diagnosed. Best wishes -- it really can be done!

Megan said...

Ah, the dreaded "sway tay." I remember the first time I was offered that, I had no idea what the woman was even SAYING.

You go Cal! You've so got this.

Kal said...

I fear that no one will ever love me again.

M. D. Jackson said...

Fear is the mind killer... you know the rest.

Love is looking for you. Get yourself healthy, be the best Kal that you can be so that love will recognize you when it finds you.

And no "low-self esteem" girls. You need a woman who could do without you but wants to be with you anyway.

Kal said...

Like the cat she would have to have contempt for me but enjoy my company at the same time. It's a nice dream my friend.