Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Now You Will All Shun Me Like I Am The Elephant Man


Yeh, da GOUT is what I have. I knew that. Why do I even need a doctor? I got da google. I can diagnose myself. If I could prescribe my own meds I could take him completely out of the picture. And his signature is a LINE... one LINE. I could so fake that. It's insane.

He also gave me this look like I was the crazy one because I eat lots of tomatoes and supposidely tomatoes agrivate this condition. He is from South Africa and he said he is AMAZED that people in this country eat so many tomatoes. Then he goes on this rant about the evil that is the tomatoe. I think something bad happened to him as a child in a tomatoe patch.

Only MY doctor would have more issues and opinions on stupid things than me.

10 comments:

M. D. Jackson said...

Anyone who hates the tomato so much has to be part of the cephalopod conspiracy.

Tomatoes are good.

M. D. Jackson said...

...and it's odd because my doctor is from South Africa. I should ask him his opinion of tomatoes. I might have to find a new GP.

Budd said...

as long as you don't have GERD or gout, the Tomato is an amazingly good for you fruit. All things in moderation though.

Wings1295 said...

As Budd says, all things in moderation. But why be so anti-tomato? Unless he is just sick of gout and taking it out on the poor tomato.

Kal said...

I would be interesting to know if this is some kind of South Africa medical conspiracy thing. I don't know about these South African doctors with their German sounding names and dubious Stuttgart (a city I know very well) medical degrees. It's all a little too Aryan for me. Come to think of it all his nurses are petite and blonde. Oy Vey!

TS Hendrik said...

Tomato is highly acidic which is its main downfall. Anything that's related to deadly nightshade has to have an evil side. That said, your doctor is clearly anti tomato pro hatred towards all things delicious.

Can you have pineapple in your current diet? It's supposed to be good for gout.

D.I. Felipe González said...

Garlic is also supposed to be good against uric acid. I'm thinking of a nice tomatoe sauce seasoned with garlic and fine herbs.

Kal said...

I am off to get some garlic pills and some fresh pineapple or in the can pineapple. I LOVE me some pineapple unless it's on pizza. (I mean really, what the hell people?)

Ricky Shambles said...

I wish you luck and patience - if you recall my Gout/NOTGout posts, I was 100% about gout on the Google, but when I got the tests, no gout. Could barely walk, couldn't put on a shoe (broke foot boot I had lying around). Never flared like that again, but occasionally still have weird pains in my toe joints.

I drank many a gallon of tart cherry juice, apple cider vinegar, and baking soda water and it went away. So obviously that's the cure :)

Kal said...

My GP looked at my foot and diagnosed the gout in about a second. He put me on an anti-inflamatory and scared the hell out of me about the tomatoe. Let's see who that works - Herr Doctor!