Saturday, April 30, 2011

Surviving A Sword Fight

I can understand a bad guy throwing his gun at the hero when he runs out of bullets. That is a natural reaction because intellectually you know that the gun may hit the hero in the face or at least distract him enough to make an escape.

However, throwing a sword or using it like a spear annoys me to no end. It's a SWORD you are holding. The chances that you will stick a guy let along pin his sleeve to the rails of a ship (as shown in this picture) are next to zero. Then you are left without a weapon and at the mercy of your foe. Swords don't have the balance of a spear and therefor should never be used as one.

When one is training to use a sword, I can assure you that no time is spent tossing it at a target. Keep your sword in your hand at all times and improve your skills so that you can defeat another guy with a sword. Now if your opponent throws his sword at you...first grin at his stupidity and then slash him through the heart.

Now let's assume for a second that the villain does have time to shoot his flint lock pistol. First of all those things malfunction all the time and are totally unreliable. You need to get many elements (shot, powder, paper, flint spark) to work perfectly together to do any damage.

Secondly the lead ball is delivered with so little force that even if you are hit anywhere below your neck, you can survive the wound. More often than not the bullet will not even penetrate the heavy cloaks you are wearing.

So what have we learned?

*Be a man and take the bullet
*Don't throw something that is not designed to be thrown. It's just a wasted play that leaves you weaponless
*Practice throwing a KNIFE which IS a weapon designed to be thrown. Learning how to throw a knife under pressure is a good back-up skill to have.
*Move close enough to your opponent and use your sword as it was intended to be used - by forcing the sharp pointy end through your opponent's heart.

Do we understand now? Good.

Please don't make me have this conversation with you ever again.


Paradox Al said...

Only lightsabers can be thrown! =p

Kal said...

Agreed, they are designed to be throne and retrieved afterwards.

Debra She Who Seeks said...

I'm glad you're standing up for realism and truth in comics.