Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Cal Bowls With Special Olympics

The human body is a miraculous thing. You can rest certain parts of it for too long and find out immediately, in an emergency and they just do not answer the call.

Bowling well requires use of the big thigh muscles. Its what gets you low to the ground the throw the ball and gets you back up so you can throw the ball again, and again and again.

Now here I am thinking that since my fat ass lost ten pounds and I walk everyday that maybe I was ready to the use of these special muscles to dazzle my team.

Dazzle, I did not. Just so we remember how I do week to week (or weak to weaker) I will tell you how I did. There will be NO calling me a loser because only I can call myself that and I did - over and over and over again. One of my teammates was telling me how to bowl which if you saw all my childhood bowling trophies you would consider her advice an insult. I felt like I had been dropped off by the little yellow bus and needed my helmet so I didn't fall and hurt myself.

But remember, I am working from scratch here. I felt like Frankenstein's monster. I should have yelled out "FIRE BAD" with each ball. I just felt and moved like someone with degenerative nerve damage.

I know I will be hurting tomorrow but it will be a week's worth of deep knee bends and squats with the heavy weight till I build up those muscles again. After all, there is nowhere for me to go but up.

One of the guys on my team told me that I have a great handicap now and I will be a shoe-in for most improved at the year end banquet. So there.

Alright I put this off long enough. In five pin bowling a perfect game is 450. A game over 200 is considered good in this 'ham and egg' league I am in. I scored 41, 56, and 86. It's the worse I have bowled in my entire life.

Mock me and shame me. It's the only way I will get better and better I WILL get. I can do with one less failure in my life. I will follow the technique of my two mentors. President Obama and Fred Flintstone.


csmith2884 said...

I own one of those short school buses, you and your helmet are welcome licking the windows!! If I hear any more talk of jackets and utility belts I may have to make the trek up there. I will even let you use the outside PA system. said...

Those sound like decent scores to me, Cal. Then again, I take that short bus and they put in those gutter blockers for me when I go bowling.

Kal said...

They were joking that I would have to use the steel aiming thingies if I didn't get better. And no sticker for my helmet. I am getting a trophy this year - I swear to god, I am on my way.

M. D. Jackson said...

41. Ouch!

When I was a kid I was on a bowling team and we stank. We were in no danger of winning trophies. So when I started bowling again recently I had little to no expectations. I did slightly better than I thought I would, though. I bowled less than an 86 at first, then started to do marginally better.

Mind you, I didn't join a league and haven't been back to the alley since my daughter's birthday, so if you go back next week and the week after you will have automaticly outsripped Mister Quitter here.

And the thigh muscle pain will go away. Eventually.

Kal said...

Oh I am gonna get better. The whole frickin' league will touch me because I will be the 'anointed' one. You warned me about the thighs. Sure I walked but I didn't really listen. You knew.

Nathan said...

I think Fred Flintstone took ballet lessons to improve his bowling. Maybe you should try that.