Tuesday, September 28, 2010

The Meanest Person In The World

When you are a blogger you put yourself out there. Often, after a sound insult it is only right to challenge the one who made the insult with 'pistols at dawn'. This is the way MEN settle there difference. We don't say that someone who dresses like Prince and has a creame cheese body odor is hardly a man.

But it seems that Reputation@Stake, while deciding not to show up for our duel, deciding to go right for my soft, gentle heart. I can only read this faux letter with my eyes filling with the tears.

His bitch ass face has no idea of Selena and my relationship so who is he to speak. You got me good my foe and you also hurt a sweet girl who had to remind me that none of your spiteful bile was true.

You can hurt me but not my best girl so she is providing me with proper transportation to come to deliver bed bugs to your underwear. I didn't want to creep her out anymore by telling her that youw will forever need to go commando, ya freak.

I will not forget your insult(and the shear effort which under any other situtation I would totally respect - love the cool 'Tiger Beat' form you took) and will save your punishment for when you find a happy moment in your life that I can crush to dust. I guess this time I will have to do my 'wetwork' on dry land that smells like Tennesse swamp gas. Enjoy the time you have left buddy. Here is what started it all.

Love Kal

A few days ago Cal, over at Cal’s Canadian Cave of Coolness, challenged me to a duel. I think I insulted his honor, or blog, or something (I was distracted by a piece of lint on my shoe), and he suggested pistols at dawn. Unable to turn down a duel, bet, or contest of any kind, I have decided to accept his challenge. Lacking an actual pistol, I am using this post to fire the first shot. (And I apologize to everyone else for any inside jokes this post contains.)

This letter, coincidentally, appeared in my mailbox immediately after I was challenged to a duel



18 comments:

Contemplating Cadie said...

Wow! She's crushin' on him bad.

Chill out Selena! He's a married man! However, I hear that Kal is free... think it over.

Kal said...

Oh she knows that he is married. And that has a condition that makes him wear an adult diaper 24/7Plus she and I am close enough already to weather some goobner trying to block my game and discrupt our love. He is just a baby whose momma would not let him duel me like a man.

Kal said...

Oh and I have it on good thority that she didn't write that letter. I noticed the way he swoops his 'j's like a girl.

TS Hendrik said...

It's nice to be on the sidelines of a battle for a change. Personally, when it comes to conflict, I'm more of a rock paper scissors man myself.

Unknown said...

How sad, demeaning such a nice guy...and girl.
Rise above his crap and ignore him.

Drake said...

I bet it was Demi Lovato you wrote that letter, working with that fellow to ruin the appreaciation you and Selena have for each. They're just jealous of you two!

DrGoat said...

Do not lower yourself to his level (though it is tempting). This cretin is obviously one of those arrogant and so clever types that is not worth the effort.
But going for Selena is a cowards act.
If he doesn't have a pistol, how about swords. Run him through.

Pearl said...

Finally! A prize fight I can relate to!

Get 'im, Kal! Get 'im!

Pearl

Sebastian Black said...

I do fear the kraftiness, and kreative kome-backs that Kal kan unleash. However, I am not permitted to make such comments because I have been banned from this blog for a year.

Kal said...

Now it's too years ya goober. I actually know this person who made a comment regarding my Selena that started all this so now I must crush him like dust and then I must crush the dust.

Sebastian Black said...

Are you referring to that 'Vancouver Mark' person? Or me? Because if it's me, I already grounded my pride into a fine powder a few years ago. (Powder and dust are the same, right?) I repeated the action with my self-respect, a few months ago. Crushed it to dust and then crushed the dust and then crushed the crusher that I used to crush the dust, and then crushed the dust of the crusher. It was a vicious cycle. But, point being, you may borrow any of that dust or powder, if that helps. And I promise this will be the last time I visit or comment for a year.

Sebastian Black said...

Oh, no wait, you said two years didn't you?

(Sorry. Had to comment again to clear that up. But THIS is the absolute last time I comment here for a yea-- I mean two years.)

Contemplating Cadie said...

I haven't been banned yet! You just get your comments to me Rep, and I'll pass them along to Cal here.

Rawknrobyn.blogspot.com said...

But, 2 years?? Selena will almost be a full-fledged adult then. She'll be able to advocate for herself and all..I mean, I'm so sorry someone insulted your sweetie, Kal. Damn the Rep. Damm him.
xoRobyn

Kal said...

Maybe two years was a bit harsh. But for the next two days I don't want to find you here or I will turn you over to Chris Hanson and "How to catch a predator show?" Oh wait...you could just as soon turn that on me. Damn you rep...you re my Kahn..REEEEEEEEP!!!!!!

Sebastian Black said...

Do those next two days start today, or tomorrow? Oh, never mind. I'm banishing myself.

Budd said...

I prefer broken bottles at midnight.

Kal said...

Banishing yourself? But everything you need is right here you crybaby. Just say you are sorry and everghing will be okay.