Monday, August 31, 2009

Agents of the World

Lisa Mynx found this vile, evil product our cephalopod enemies are attempting to distribute all over terrestrial Earth. They understand with the holiday season coming up that there will be billions of dollars of expendable income just waiting for them to step up with this deceptively clever invention to sell. Knowing that all humans and domesticated kitties love a cool scratch or scrich like we say around here. You look around for something to scratch with and there it is. That silly gift your kid got you. You ignore its many spiked appearance and upon placing in on your head (WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU DO THAT????) the burrowing process begins, The twoonie shaped piece of skull in removed, the chip is inserted and the scull-cap is screwed back in. Neat and quick and your skull no longer itches. Each head scratcher can impregnate 16 humans with the control chip, each one in less than 1 minute. The word is given. Find and destroy. Best start with Walmart.


Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

I'll keep a sharp eye out for cephalopods when we go to the beach next week.

Cal's Canadian Cave of Coolness said...

"All I ask is that you bring a baseball bat with some nails hammereed through it. Just you. Next to the blanket. Just in case. Cause you never know. She doesn't need to know you have it...but you happened to SEE something tenticle related. Well, you are smart fellow. Him or you. Shhhhhh. I was never here. These aren't the droids you were looking for."