Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Doctor Evil - I Am A Huge Fan

Well after my great fall I have decided that maybe I need a personal doctor again after all these years for my many ailments to come. I am of that age when prevention will help me live a much better life as I get older. I never want to be young again because I would lose the knowledge and experience that only comes with getting older. I like the suave genius I am now but I want to still see and learn and experience amazing things for a long time yet. So Monday I will go see Dr X with my list of complaints. In truth, its more of an interview for him. I want me some sense of humour, a healthy dose of compassion and a pretty loose drug prescription policy. I will let him do that 'probe' thing but not until a second or third visit because Big Daddy does NOT give it away up front. I do want him to shake his head at me and bitch me out but at the same time know when I don't have patience for that kind of snotty superiority. Talk DOWN to me and I fill my pockets with suckers and rectal thermometers and I am out of there. In return I will trust that he didn't get his degree from some Caribbean medical diploma mill ("Hey Dr Tallyman, tally me banana...day light come and me want throw up.") and stay his charge for as long as either of us live. Gotta be some job satisfaction to keeping me alive. Plus each visit will pad his bottom line. I can be quite the hypochondriac when I want to me. Thinking of that boat Doc? Well I am your down payment buddy. It would also help if he knew who Dr. Evil is, both the movie and toy versions but that is something I can compromise on.

"I didn't go to evil medical school for eight years to be called MR Evil."

1 comment:

Wandering Coyote said...

Your "many ailments to come" - LOL!

Yeah, finding a GP isn't fun. I can definitely sympathize.