Friday, August 28, 2009

So, What Really Is The Problem Here?

"SAINT PAUL, Minn. - A St. Paul police officer is under investigation after entering Como Zoo, after hours, to feed gorillas a snack. Surveillance video captured the incident last January, around 2 a.m., when two zoo security guards snuck four to eight people into the zoo. Among the unauthorized visitors, was an off-duty St. Paul Cop. The Como Zoo isn't sure if the gorillas actually ate the Pop-Tarts or not. Regardless, the gorillas appear to be doing just fine. The three gorillas are named Schroeder, Gordy and Togo. The Zoo says zoo-goers are not allowed to feed the animals."

What is the point of being a gorilla in captivity if you can't have a delicious Pop Tart once in awhile? If I was the Pop Tart people I would be all over this story and gear a whole campaign towards gorillas who love Pop Tarts. You got Kong, and Mighty Joe Young, and that other gorilla guy. Get yourself some footage of gorillas in the wild enjoying the Pop Tarts you air dropped over their habitat days earlier. You could even use Planet of the Apes footage to make the link between the fall of human civilization and the gorilla's love for Pop Tarts. Too bad Charlton Heston is not living. You could have him find a box of Pop Tarts half buried ih the sand while crying "You bastards, you really toasted them! Damn you to hell!" What? Too much?

How great is the marriage between Pop Tarts and Hello Kitty? I gotta tell you I smell cross promotion potential with my upcoming Hello Kitty feature starring one Mr Tom Cruise.


Nicole said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Nicole said...

I would see that movie... but I LIKE toasted PopTarts!



P.S. Sorry I deleted the first comment... I wanted follow-up comments emailed to me. XD

Wings1295 said...

Did you ever notice the frosting layer on Pop Tarts isn't as thick and tasty as it used to be?

Wandering Coyote said...

I'd take a banana any day over those POS toaster tarts!

Jay said...

Hey! That's my hometown! Normally, I'm proud of St. Paul, but er, yeah....